I want to share with you a little story.
I've used Facebook for some time, as, I'm guessing, have many of you. I don't know anything about the people who fill up your feed, but mine are largely of hippies, feminists, burners, LBGTQ folks (and those interested in LBGTQ issues), and an occasional Republican (rare but treasured).
Thus, my feed is composed of photos of people's kids, vacations, dinners (why do you keep taking so many pictures of your food?!) and pets. And this is fine, as are the occasional happy thoughts ("I got the job!") and pleas for support ("My boyfriend broke up with me and I need a virtual hug; send photos of kittens.").
But these are few and far between compared with the constant op-eds, news reports, and in-between style pieces (like Jezebel and Slate) on divisive and dismal topics.
About every third post in my feed is a link to an article condemning anti-vaxxers or big pharma, condemning feminism or men's rights activists, condemning racist police or rioting civilians. My hippie friends constantly shout about GMOs and factory farms. My feminist friends scream about rape and the patriarchy. My burner friends shriek about corporate greed and culture appropriation. My queer friends rail over discrimination and civil rights abuse. My Republican friends rant about welfare queens and communists.
And everyone, all of them, post scare pieces about Ferguson, Ebola, the doomed economy, wars in other countries, crimes in other countries. It's tragedy everywhere I look.
And, of course, photos of babies and kittens.
So, several months ago, I quit. I stopped using Facebook to fill my boredom. I stopped using it to share my thoughts. I stopped using it to connect with friends. I now check it almost solely to see my event invitations, since Facebook is still where everyone announces their parties.
And I am so much happier. I'm pretty tuned out, since I don't watch or read news, and now I don't even hear news rumors as they happen. And what joy to be so! Most news is bad, and most of it doesn't affect me. I could not change it if I tried. I now simply don't have all that bad news in my life.
And no more arguments! People talk about connecting with friends, and I know that can happen on Facebook. But more often, we just argue. Shouting arguments at each other, or shouting together at some third party isn't connection, it's abuse. And who do we think we're fooling? Do you really think you're going to change anyone's mind by yelling at them through your computer screen?
My connection is now real and personal. I text, call, or email friends who are close to me. I see many of my friends and loved ones on a regular basis. Some friends I see at events or group outings. And what happiness! We talk about pleasant topics, and give each other support when we need it.
Further, since I can't sit around wasting time looking through a Buzzfeed list of the 10 celebrities who look most like their dogs or whatever, I find I have valuable time to pursue worthwhile interests. I read, lots. I research the tiny house I dream of building. I learn about topics I find interesting, like physics, astronomy, and history. I write. I enjoy time with people I love, without being distracted by a screen.
Life without the endless stream of vitriol and nonsense is so refreshing and rewarding. Do I miss some gems buried in the garbage? You bet. Of course. But do I miss having to get my hands so dirty in order to find them? Not even a little.
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